Off the Wall Weight Loss Solution
Years ago, when I was in late teens, I guess I was 18 or 19 years old, I got it into my head that I wanted to join the Army.
It seemed like a perfect solution for me at the time, I was kind of floundering around, did alot of drugs and drank alot too and I had no idea what to do with my life.
So, I thought the Army was a good choice.
I carried myself down to the local recruiting office, filled out all the papers, talked to the guy, blah, blah, blah. I did some testing too as I recall. Anyway, there was one problem: I was too fat.
So the recruiter, who was very nice, but a bit dumb now that I think about it, told me to do this as a weight loss solution.
He said to take laxatives, don’t eat more than 500 calories a day, and wrap myself in saran wrap and sit out in the sun and then I would sweat the weight off. The sweat and poop weight loss solution.
Wow. Even dumber: I did it. I can’t remember how much weight I lost (hey, it was 28 – 29 years ago!) but it was enough to get me down to Miami for a physical.
I failed the physical. While I was just a hair under the proper weight for joining, and got a “you should really lose a little more weight” from the doctor, it turned out I failed the hearing test. Five times.
Needless to say, I feel rather fortunate that I never made it into the Army, and did not continue that particular weight loss solution.